10 Indispensable Truths For Discipling Others

1)   Pray for those you disciple– You must never fail to pray for the ones you disciple and for yourself that you might be led by the Spirit.  Do you know what to pray for them?  Don’t know where to start?  Try Ephesians 1:15-23.

2)   See to your own relationship with God– As disciplers we need God’s leading and wisdom more than our own.  We need Him to transform our characters in ways we cannot- and we need our disciples to see a person who is in a relationship with Jesus.

3)   Have a plan– if you do not know where to begin- look for some options.  There are many great books to walk through with someone- there are great video resources- and our church will have a resource for you as well- that can be very helpful.  Find resources that will help them KNOW; LIVE and SHARE the Gospel

4)   When in doubt of what to say; ask a question-  One of the greatest skills you can develop as a discipler is learning to ask good questions and then learning to really listen.  It takes true effort to determine to really listen to someone.  You may need- before you meet with the person you are discipling- to sit down and determine that no matter what- you will listen.  The biggest goal? Seek to understand what the disciple is saying in such a way that you could describe what they are telling you to someone else and then ask the disciple if how you described it is accurate and they would say: “Yes- you understand what I’m trying to say.”  Ask questions like:

  • What happened next
  • What did you think when that happened?
  • What did you want to do next?
  • Tell me more about this….
  • How did you feel when that happened?
  • What did you think about that?
  • What do you think God is doing in your life right now?
  • What have you been thinking about lately?
  • What do you think God wants you to think about that?  Why do you think that?

The person you disciple needs you to listen way more than they need you to share your wisdom with them..

5)   Be Discipled and don’t be afraid to get help.  It’s ok if you say: “You know what I don’t know the answer to that- can I get back to you with that?  Asking for help is key in this process.  Again, you are not Jesus.  You’re job is to point others to Him- but that isn’t always easy..  Ask for help.  In addition to this- it’s crucial you are being discipled as well.  the best mentors and disciplers out there are men and women who are learning and take their own growth seriously.  Having mentors is a very healthy and necessary movement in the life of a discipler.

6)   No matter what- point them to Jesus: Don’t be afraid to ask people this question:  “What is Jesus doing in your life right now?  What do you think God is trying to show you in this?”  The main goal of your efforts is that the person you are discipling grows in their relationship with God.  Nothing must get in the way of this.  Which brings up another great point: where is the best place to find truth about Jesus?  The bible.  We should point people back to the bible- walk through it with them; talk about it- study it- savor it- pray through it.  This is a key work of the discipler

7)   Set limits- don’t disciple a person forever.  Take eight-12 week chunks of time then reevaluate.  The point is to help someone grow closer to Jesus- you are not Jesus for them.

8)   Pray with your disciple– The person you are discipling needs to learn how to pray.  This is just the way it is.  You are a person to help them learn and the best way to teach prayer is to do it.  Ideally they will become someone who loves to pray and helps others do the same.

9)   Teach your disciple that someday they will disciple others– this is a big one.  Anytime we disciple someone and this isn’t part of the process then we have left a crucial part out of what it means to be a follower of Jesus.  I’ve seen many people disciple others and those disciples go on expecting people to always feed them and help them- they don’t see that what they’ve received is for someone else’s benefit.  I cannot stress this enough- I think we do a great disservice when we don’t help our disciple see that we are preparing them to disciple someone else…

10)                   Pray– This is the most important thing and that is why it gets two line items!!!  You must pray!  End of story!


The unfortunate thing with the word “Disciple” is that often we make this mean that the person we are discipling acts just like us- and I’d like us to move away from that- the person we are discipling is someone we are pointing to Jesus as their great shepherd and discipler.  We are simply people who walk alongside of them and help them grow in Christ.  My hope is that these ten truths will serve you well in the days ahead as you walk with others.  May God bless you as you make disciples!!!!


Pastor Ryan